i don't live here anymore.

if it seems like i've only been here for six weeks, that's because i have. now the time has come for el serracho to move, yet again. please come visit.

hillary? no, wait, that was just your campaign..

i kid, i kid; no political stuff here, i promise.

Thomas suffered two heart attacks and had no brain waves for more than 17 hours. At about 1:30 a.m. Saturday, her heart stopped and she had no pulse. A respiratory machine kept her breathing and rigor mortis had set in, doctors said.

"Her skin had already started to harden and her fingers curled. Death had set in," said son Jim Thomas.

yep, she got better. best part though is the onionesque photo with the story.


oy, my aching rigor mortis.

FLDS Moms; the gift that keeps on giving

while i applaud yesterday's decision to reverse the state kidnapping in texas, i'm more happy to have another day's worth of pics of the FLDS Moms.

a little known custom in the FLDS church is the love post. waaaaa i love this post! no, post, we musn't go on like this, waaaaa.

photo-bombing: an age old FLDS custom. who knew?

oohhh yeah! school's out bitches!

i am the queen of france!

yeah, another video; in fact just reposting what you probably already saw at the bummer life. but what a video it is.

alice

elserracho like.

suck never goes away it just changes it's face

i submit, for your consideration, that steve carrell is the new martin short*.

set aside your office-based prejudice and discuss.

for those too young to remember, martin short is the *old* steve carrell.

why oh why won't you listen to me?

this may be a bit of a white whine, but when tell the barrista that i want 4 shots iced, i don't want to be asked if i want water in that.

incidentally, i prefer the australian version; to *whinge*. as in "aw, quit your whinging" or "el serracho was whinging on about the damn barrista when folks around the world have to live without any espresso at all."

i'm old

overheard just now, my 20-something co-worker "oh my god, this is the hardest book i've ever read."

curiosity got a hold of me so i looked up to see... no book at all. just a computer monitor. "books" ya know.

you know what? fuck brooks saddles

brooks bicycle saddles. oh the history! have you seen these beautiful saddles? they're so classic, so ... COOL looking. i just HAVE to get one so i can sit on the rivet just like phil ligget said. oooohhh i'm gonna cream on this gorgeous saddle.

oh wait, has anyone tried to ride on one of these things? they suck. worst bicycle saddle in history. for the purposes of this review, i once spent a day with a brooks saddle (three years ago). it was like riding a bicycle made of legos. in fact, i challenge you to build a saddle out of legos. i will use it instead of one of these crappy saddles. zero out of five stars.

if you want a brooks saddle, here is your new bike. i already put your fancy english bicycle seat on it for you. you suck.

dickipedia. at long last.

Lance Armstrong (born Lance Edward Gunderson on September 18, 1971) is a retired road racing cyclist, cancer survivor, self-aggrandizer, and a dick.

It has been said that some men are born dicks while others have dickishness thrust upon them. Lance Armstrong falls into the second camp. An indisputably talented athlete with a solid work ethic and positive attitude, he is nonetheless insufferably self-content. This is demonstrated by his six-figure public-appearance fee and penchant for issuing vomitously trite motivational sound bites like “a boo is a lot louder than a cheer” and “pain is temporary, but if you quit it lasts forever.”

i know i've said this before but this time i meant it. THIS is the reason the internets were invented.

enjoy..

oh yeah, gracias to the cd for sending this link over. he's had a fascination with dicks as long as i've known him.

def not payin' that much

i'm all for bands makin' mon any way than can, hon. but i think the dandy warhols might have gone off the deep end with their offer to download their new record...for 35 bucks (but you get a poster!) yoinks.

none the less, thanks Agi for passing along this link where one can listen to the whole album right now. at work! i mean what else have you got going on?

yes, i really did take notes

overheard, spoken by a single gentleman, on the flight to amsterdam last week

they're the reason we're in profit challenge mode

we're going to put them in the hurt locker

if i find out they're two to a project we are all sitting down for a little chat

with that, he hung up his cell phone and opened the wall street journal. he gave the contents of the journal's front page a few knowing nods before opening his laptop and working on a powerpoint presentation entitled "Human Capital Management."

wisdom

“Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin. Sure, it tastes the same but it just isn’t right.”

via la casa de Judas, via some guy.

i'd thrown decaf in the mix too.

Xhibit can suck it

this ford escort wagon has already been pimped.








it's the attention to detail that i love about this ride. well that and the utter obliviousness of it all. 5 out 4 stars!

customer servicing

there's my wittle guy! oohh and he brought a friend!

my old pal and ex co-worker came by the pad yesterday to perform the duties of his new job: termite inspector. seems you can make big bucks (or at least bigger than the bike industry) thusly AND you get to sit on the beach reading the paper in the morning rather than slogging your way to irvine on a bicycle like he did for 15 years. it was a good time, we shot the shit, mostly about the ins and outs of his new job. it seems that his potential customers are often a bit difficult to deal with. money quote:

fuck with me enough and i'll piss in your attic

oh and, in case your wondering, the house got a clean bill of health. strange thing though, he was there for more than two hours and never used the bathroom..curious.